Sarah’s Journey
Hi, my name is Sarah. Before I was a Christian, I had experienced my share of storms filled with trauma. When I was a child, I was sexually abused and, as a result, I ended up in the Foster Care System. In that system, I faced persistent bullying. I was emotionally broken and began developing an eating disorder. DCYF failed to help me until others intervened and rescued me.
In the meantime, I kept praying to God to help me get out of that abusive place. A year later, God heard my prayers and got me into a loving and caring family. Later, however, I was back in my childhood home, and there I was sexually abused again. This caused me to spiral down into a state of depression. I was also getting bullied at school. To overcome these, I had to reach down deep, and God met me at that place.
But my faith was weak, and I was becoming more depressed. I started cutting myself and began taking drugs to medicate myself. I wanted to end my life. My whole life was flashing before my eyes. I felt betrayed and cast aside. No one wanted to believe me when I shared the hurt I was struggling with. I felt alone, unloved and broken. However, I kept turning to God, and at a Word of Life Superbowl gathering, I finally was saved. The pastor at the rally told me there was God who sent his Son to save me from all of my sins. After I received Jesus into my life as Lord and Savior, I felt happy for the first time. I made my peace and started to believe that nothing from the abuse was my fault. I was sinned against, and I did nothing to bring that on. The shame began to fall away. I felt cleansed. Now I knew that Jesus loved me, and He made me whole again. All my sins were forgiven and washed away. I was now complete in Christ.
Things started looking up for me. I got my first job at Shaw’s, graduated high school, and found love with my husband at that time. However, my past was pulling at me. I was also bullied by my manager at work. Once again, I became suicidal. I had flashbacks, and my emotions were all over the place. Soon I ran into another trial. It was not long after my marriage that I experienced an ectopic pregnancy. This type of pregnancy can be life threatening if the pregnancy continues to grow. It can cause rupture and lead to internal bleeding. Things did not look good for me. While at the hospital, I had a near death experience in which God had assured me that it was not yet my time to leave this world. I remember seeing a light and hearing a voice that said, “Sarah, it is not your time yet. Go back.” Few days later I was released from the hospital to go home and heal.
My marriage was struggling. My husband cheated on me, and I did the same in return. I admitted my wrongs, he did not. My husband began drinking and abusing me physically, mentally, emotionally. I lost another baby. He put me through hell, but I kept my hope and faith. Our marriage came to an end. In its place, God blessed me with a church family that loves and cares for me.
Through it all God has taught me to forgive those who hurt me, to make peace with them and with God. Without God, I would not be here today, but with God everything is possible. We just need to have faith in God. What he has planned for us is done by His Will, not ours. Be patient, storms will pass and there will be a calm. I survived all of my trials and have learned to trust Lord no matter what obstacles in life I may face. When you do God’s Will, things will get better, and life will be fuller. Thank you.